Reflection

I've spent some times being unhappy with what my life is.
But as I reflect on the past year since I graduated, I'm actually happy with what I've accomplished.
Sometimes you just need to see the big picture and realize that when someone tells you it's all gonna be okay, he's right.

xoxo
loves
lake

A Word About Love

Once upon a time, I had a best friend named Miranda.
We just had a really special bond.
We aren't really friends anymore, and it's really stupid. I seriously don't think either of us could say why. We are both really stubborn. But, she will always have a special place in my heart.

One year at girl's camp, we wrote out our ten types of love.
Haha it was really cheesy, something like puppy love, best friend love, used love, and unrequitted love? Is that a word? Not sure.. I guess we thought we had life figured out at 15. Dude we weren't even 'legally' allowed to date. Lolz

It's really weird how fast time flies, because she's getting married in a couple months.
Her thoughts on love have probably evolved since we were naive high schoolers who actually thought we weren't naive and had tons of experience and were soooo smart and you get the picture. And then there's me and my millions of cats.

Anyway, I've decided that instead of types of love, there seems to be just stages of love- or times where one experiences love. Each experience kind of leads you to your own understanding of the meaning of love, and why everyone is always searching for it. I don't know the true definition of the huge word 'love' yet but this is what I do know.

I love running and my memories of my team in high school. I miss it a lot and my heart aches for it some days.

I love when it rains, but doesn't storm and it is just peaceful

I love my cats (duh)

I love the friendships I made at school this past year. I miss Amber Britt and Kenz so much everyday.

I love God.

I love my family.

I love driving with my sunroof open and listening to a good song.

I love playing the piano when no one is around.

And recently, I wanted to give up on someone I loved. People tend to fail me when I love them, I'm not really sure why. But for some reason, this time they decided to come back and it's nice to have something to believe in and hope for.

I know that love is when you put someone else's happiness before yours- without even realizing it.

So, yesterday I decided I also love

.....eating dinner late, running too early, being okay with changing my mind, and for the first time in years, something working out that I really truly wanted. I forgot how great that feels. I LOVE IT :)

Well here's a little update on my life

I've been having a lot of weak moments lately. This was one.

We almost had a gas explosion at my mom's a few days ago so we had to sit in the backyard while it aired out. You would think people would TURN OFF THE GAS when they finish cooking. So we lived the chill life for a few hours this afternoon

This is my roomie Ashbee who I freaking miss and SHE GOT ENGAGED TO MR. BRADY THOMPSON 2 NIGHTS AGO!

I sit by myself at Sunday School or hide in the bathroom. I wish I was going to Krispy Kreme instead :( 

This is my Dad's girlfriend's cat that loves me so I kind of took him in as my son. His name is Monkey 

And I still work at Sonic...... me & Kenna are trying to figure out why hot girls work fast food

That's all folks
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX394587
lake

Change

WOW.
I moved home!
And I haven't blogged in what feels like forever.
So many things here are the same. Like the stupid pot holes that will never get fixed, the indecisive weather, Sonic Drive-In, and the track. But a lot of things are different, too, and it's hard for me.

I don't really handle change well, so this has been a difficult adjustment. Every 5 seconds I feel like I need to call Kensington and tell her something completely irrelevant to her life, like how I made brownies yesterday that expired in 2009, and I tanned in the backyard yesterday, and her boyfriend's favorite song was on the radio haha. I want Amber to do my freaking makeup (she's a beauty queen pretty much). And I want Brittani to tell me something to snap my head back on straight (she's very reasonable haha).

And here, I used to love going to my ward to see all my friends, but now that those friends are not my friends anymore, it was really hard yesterday.

Oh- I've also become the official laziest person ever. I now understand why everyone loves Netflix! Even though my social life sucks, at least I can live vicariously through the people of Tree Hill. I think I have watched more TV/movies in the past week than in the past year total. So, I get up at like noon, go running at some point, take a shower, and then I watch TV. Haha it's so weird for me, but I guess it's also kind of nice.

A couple weeks ago, I didn't want to come home at all since it meant facing the loose ends of relationships with various people that were never tied up...and some of those people don't even care. Well, all I know is that life goes on, and that at some point, I'll feel okay.

Something strange to me is that although I feel out of place right now, I can't really think of anywhere else that would make me feel in place.

And also, how can you feel like you finally made a little progress in resolving something, and then realize that it's just worse? I've learned that sometimes you just have to pretend it's okay and deal with it later.

I never thought my only friends would be my dad and his girlfriend Marcie, Marcie's son's girlfriend Tasia (we watch One Tree Hill together), and Marcie's cat Monkey that sleeps with me every night and comes on car rides.

Oh the dramas of being an 18 year old girl

Well whatever you only get to be at this place in your life once, right? :)

Loves
Lake  :)